hope

flawed leader

loyalty is not earned through slick lies

and digested half-truths, watered down

to make them more palatable.

–

nor is it a prize, to be won through bribery

and threats. only a coward leads through violence,

forcing a blind, militaristic obedience

that has no place among the ill and dying.

–

such men are not leaders,

and only a spineless fool could think

order born of fear is a feat to be celebrated.

great leaders are not appointed. their status is earned.

–

simply subduing the masses beneath the weight

of your iron thumb and anvil of propaganda

does not make you worthy of praise

or respect.

–

and just because thousands risk their lives

for what they feel is right does not mean

they did it because of you.

–

make no mistake:

they did it in spite of you.

Who Am I?

It was a childhood dream, one that I loved well,

A fairy-tale story that I’d heard someone tell

I’d see it at nights, as I lay in my bed

With visions of stethoscopes inside my head

White coats beat tiaras at dress-up games

And I referred to bacteria by their scientific names

It was a future that I never stopped dreaming

Planning and plotting and aiming and scheming

Mapping my life with this solitary goal

Paying no heed to the upcoming toll

–

And then I was there, that placed I’d dreamt of,

Doing the work I’d envied and loved

The road that I trod was rocky at first

I made mistakes, and that made things worse

I remember the time when a patient couldn’t hear

And so I leant closer, and said, in his ear,

“What is your name, Sir? Why have you come?”

But he remained mute; to instinct I succumbed,

I shouted, “WHO ARE YOU, SIR? WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

Much to the amusement of everyone else who could hear

I can’t quite remember what happened to him

Only that the prognosis was guarded and grim

But the question resounded time after time

My friends thought it funny, a well-intentioned crime

But the question would return in more ways than one

A reminder of battles that can never be won

–

And now I am older, and roam down the halls

A world that seemed big now feels stiflingly small

At times, I feel useless, a harbinger of doom

I see tears, fear, and sadness when I walk into rooms

I thought I could help, but help is deceiving

The help that I bring depends on people believing

That I carry hope, when all I have left are lies

Each time I think we’ve won, another hope dies

At night I see the stars; they watch me from their place

High upon the firmament, revelling in space

Can they even see me? Would they try to, if they could?

And what would they think, if they saw? Bad or good?

Sometimes I play-pretend they can hear

And I shout, “WHO AM I?” and “WHY AM I HERE?”

But there is no answer — there never has been

I’m lost and alone; nothing’s what it once seemed

I stumble through life, beneath the unfeeling sky

Without an answer to my question, namely just who am I?r

Whirlwind of Dreams

I fell in love with my whirlwind of dreams

So many different plans branching out to extremes

To climb above mountains and see the view from the top

To run across fields without having to stop

To dance in bare feet without scraping my skin

To face fights with courage enough for me to win

These are the dreams that I dreamt as a child

A time when imagination roamed free and wild

A time when there weren’t limits on what could be

A time when there weren’t goals too high for me

A time before I learnt how life operates

That there is nothing guaranteed, save sorrow and hate

Opportunity’s buffet will make you pay dear

For, once you start eating, you’ll become stuffed with fear

Fear that success can be lost in half the blink of an eye

And fear that everything might fall through if you prematurely die

This knowledge puts a dampener on the dreams I used to love

And now I walk with my eyes forward, not somewhere in clouds above

Yet sometimes I still visit my whirlwind of dreams

In the middle of the night, when nothing’s quite as it seems

That’s when I can fantasise of what might have been

If I’d let go of restraint, and embraced the whole me

But sometimes I hear it knocking, that dreamer I miss,
Frozen behind the corner like it’s staring into an abyss

Well, I guess abyss is the best word for a dream that’s been destroyed

The stupid dreams I dared to have for a future I couldn’t avoid

Derision

On a lonely, quiet, moonlit night,

I grabbed my shoes, and stumbled outside

Just for a glance at the twinkling stars

And their tiny eyes, watching me from afar

Twinkling with derision, mocking my hope,

For I’ve seen so much no one knows how I cope

Least of all the stars, who judge me for my fear

Of the ill-lit days I knew yesteryear

But I love the stars, though they might not love me,

They twinkle and dance in their black velvet sea

They live with abandon, like I never can,

They’re free, without fear of beast or man

The stars are forever, and never give in

To Death’s fatal touch, a fight I cannot win

Do they mock my mortality? There’s no way to know

But they are a constant, and that gives me hope

So when I am battered and bruised and dismayed

I think of the stars I saw yesterday

I think of their lights, twinkling in the sky

And I think of the past, and it makes me cry

The future’s forever, but what’s gone is gone

Just like my mistakes, all the things I did wrong

And the stars might judge, but that is their right

Not all of us live in a diamond of light

And so let me grieve, let me bask in my pity

The stars will watch on, from their own celestial city

Who I’ll Be

In the silence of the night

I write beneath a dim lamp’s light

Above my head, the stars shine bright

They illuminate the words I write

And, in my words, I see the past

A million lives that didn’t last

A billion ways my heart has blown

A trillion times I felt alone

Each night the road before me splits

And I decide which fork to pick

Each choice destroys a single chance

At a different life, not the one I have

But the stars above know things I don’t

Though, share their secrets, I know they won’t

There’s a comfort as they’re watching me

The stars see things that I can’t see

The stars see all, and I wonder, too,

If they see things that have yet to come true

Like who I’ll be ten years from now

Where I’ll be, and why, and how

And whether this burning inside my soul

Will rule me still, or whether I’ll know

Where my place is, what I’m meant to do

And whether any of my wishes or dreams will come true

Maybe it’s childish, to wish such dreams

Only children believe life’s more than it seems

But they are my wishes; they belong to me

Until the stars tell me who I will be

God’s Work

The light from my heart guides my hands on their way

I wake up every morning so thankful for the day

Because each step I take is blessed from above

Every breath that I take, a holy gift filled with love

Everything that I do now is truly heaven-blessed

By the grace of God I’ve learnt to balance life and death

And, through me, scales are tilted in accordance with their fate

Whether they will pull through, or whether we came too late

By day and night God guides me here; I’m a vessel he commands

He teaches me the healing arts I don’t quite understand

In the night I float through halls, my head a blurry fog

But I know that I’m not alone, because I walk with God

And it is such a privilege to finally realise

How peace or grief can be achieved by just how someone dies!

This blessed art I now dwell in is a dream I never dreamt

I’m amongst the luckiest in the world to whom this calling’s been sent

I only hope that I can do justice to the will of God

And live each day in humility, through the grace of heaven’s love

Dreams for the Plucking

Ripe on the tree and plump on the vine

They’re ready to pick, it’s just about time

The colours are bright — can you imagine the taste?!

But don’t wait too long, or they’ll go to waste

A dream’s only good for a limited time

They take so long to ripen, yet but a moment to die

You can pick any one, but beware which you do

You’ll be stuck, forever, with the dream you choose

And if it tastes foul, or it slips from your hands,

There’ll be no one to blame, but you will be damned

You will walk your whole life beneath the weight of lost dreams

So go ahead, pick a fruit! I can’t wait to see where it leads

Newfound Hope

When I awoke on New Year’s Day

I found some Hope, all tucked away

It looked so cosy, sleeping there,

I was sure I’d caught it unawares

But still it roused and shook my hand

And I was glad to find it did understand

How welcome it was to my heavy heart

A heart the Old Year had torn clean apart

What a pleasant way to start the year:

Hand-in-hand with Hope, full of joy and cheer

Christmas Hope

I awoke Christmas morning to the loveliest sight

A sliver of Hope had bloomed overnight

It had grown into a flower, a red Christmas rose,

A symbol of the truth that everyone knows

For Christmas is a season, a time for love and peace

And, every Christmas morning, I find myself at ease

For people might come, just as people will go,

But, as long as there’s Christmas, I’ll always have Hope

Hope blooms into beauty in the loveliest times

And Christmas is a Hope which will always be mine