nightmare

Daylight Robbery

A.N. Apologies for the hiatus.

–

A con man, a thief, he barters with dreams

Snatched in the night, while good dreamers sleep

His wares are uncanny, the product of lies,

A scheme fabricated to attract passersby

–

Have you ever dreamt, but couldn’t recall

The things that you’d dreamt of — no, no part at all?

That is because the Thief steals them away

Leaving your nights hollower than the days

–

He takes dreams of falling, of running, of teeth

Of being naked, flying, or giving a speech

He steals dreams of children, of babies, of pets,

So your nights are spent empty — of a dream world, bereft

–

But lately the Thief emboldened has grown

He’s broadened his sights beyond those wares of old

He’s discovered new dreams which are woven by day

These ‘daydreams’ he plots to now steal away

–

And so he sneaks into classrooms, waiting rooms, and cars

Stealing these new dreams wherever they are

More than just dreams, the Thief steals hope

The aspirations for the future that help us to cope

–

But these wares sell better, faster than the old

Something about them seems worth more than gold

They aren’t nonsensical (though far-fetched at times)

And their theft turns rewarding, a lucrative crime

–

And that’s why you startle in the midst of a daydream

Back to the grind, from your dream world unseen

The Thief steal your daydreams to sell with his wares

You won’t notice him until your dreams turn to air

save me from myself

warnings flash and mothers scream

this horror tale is not a dream

reality burns; our lives are candles

we shine in youth, too hot to handle,

we look our best — but then blow out

our nameless ashes drift about

an empty, cold wick all that’s left

the scent of smoke — and life’s regret

 

another day, another ward

i steel my heart to the untoward

my ward is full; their candles flicker

i try to help them, but death is quicker

yet my patients help Sir Death along

they partake in things they know are wrong

they smoke, they drink, they inject drugs,

they sleep around, catch resistant bugs

i search for cures, look up the doses,

try to ignore the grave prognosis

i give my best, i stay up all night,

though i could run, i stay and fight

i teach instructions that they won’t follow

a realisation that’s hard to swallow

into heroism too deep i delve —

for i can’t save them from themselves

 

fast-forward hours, when i toss in bed

the lives i’ve lost fly through my head

without their candles, there is no light

for me to picture during long, late nights

i know they have free will to choose

but that makes them no easier to lose

the ones i fought so hard to save

i blame myself for the care i gave

maybe if i had more time to try

their burnt-out candles would still shine

my self-doubt teaches me to self-hate

and my confidence gradually starts to abate

it infiltrates the flames that once made me glow

until i question everything i know

i couldn’t save them today, tomorrow,

i look for my purpose, but my heart is hollow

i start to cry, but no one hears

no audience watches these pitiful tears

it’s wrong to have so much hate for myself

but there’s no one here to save me from myself

Nightmares for Life

In my dreams, the street is dark

But passersby still spot their mark

Like starving beasts, they chase me down

I can’t escape; they’re all around

They line the streets; their taunts ring strong

About the things that I’ve done wrong

Mistakes I’ve made, and lies I’ve told

They coat my heart, and turn it old

Withered pieces flake away,

And, bit by bit, I fall astray

I trample on a skeleton’s bones

I ignore the dying’s screams and moans

My mind tells me to run away

But the demons around force me to stay

They laugh at me when I despair

I can’t escape — they’re everywhere

They come each time I close my eyes

What’s past is present; my demons rise

And I know they all will follow me

Inside my dreams for eternity

tears of blood

taking the easy way out, i become

a figment of shadows, nightmarish scum

trapped in the darkness where i belong

yet without any telling what i did wrong

deep in this dream of regret i forgot

the inciting bait on which my future was caught

idle facts i remember rain down like a flood

and my eyes fill with tears mixed with memories and blood

sometimes i wonder if it is wrong

to keep playing-pretend that you can be strong

perhaps that is so, yet i still wander in vain

seeking release from life’s inevitable pain

Clickbait for a Guilt-Free Dream

Every new night brings the same old theme

The ghosts of the dead haunt me in my dreams

They stand by my bed and condemn my mistakes

I try to stay strong, but my resolve breaks

In the darkness of night, the truth isn’t clear

And the things that I’ve done built dreams that I fear

I see faces accusing me of not doing enough

Of falling miles short when the going got rough

And as the demons return for their nightly visit with me

I realise, with dread, that I’ll never be free

Seeing Death in My Dreams

In the shadowy space between moonbeams

The Hand of Death creeps into my dreams

It clenches them tight and suffocates

All of my thoughts of flight or escape

And I feel trapped by this inevitable fate

One whose timing could never be too late

The day I stop breathing, and forever turn still

The day my hopes and dreams find themselves killed

I don’t want to die, yet I’m a lamb sent to slaughter

Waiting in line as blood mixes with water

Salty tears soak my pillow and sheets

As I imagine my life cut short, incomplete

My dreams show me futures that I don’t want

Images created as if solely to taunt

With a fate that is coming, every second closer still,

I feel Death’s touch come, like a light, sudden chill

I find myself captive of a dark night’s choice

Caught in my nightmares with neither reason nor voice

Tucked in my bed I see shapes on the wall

Like the Grim Reaper, poised for my inevitable fall

And I find myself wondering, as I drift off to sleep

Will this be the night that Death comes for me?

Reborn Twisted

the pounding of a heartbeat

awakens me from a nightmare

too terrible to be fake.

–

thank goodness for small mercies

like the ones that fill nights like these

when the past is reborn twisted.
–

they’re not my memories and yet

they’re a part of me still, these

things i relieve too often.

–

the things i’ve watched people live through

are too terrible for words so

nightly pictures are the answer.

–

at least that’s what my mind tells me,

tugging me through yet another

rendition of psycho rebooted.

–

maybe one day i’ll find a way

to separate reality

from some place better to be.

–

but for now i’ll cover red eyes

and dark circles and smile so

the world thinks i, too, am fine.

License to Kill

A nameless face in my memory

Erupts into flames, but it’s just a dream

I see it burn at nights, but then

I wake up, and I’m seeing red

You once destroyed my sense of will

But now I have a license to kill

And I’ll shoot down your memory

And all the ways you burden me

I’ll tie you to the railway tracks

Connecting nightmares from my past

You’re a face I can’t forget

But I’ll introduce you to regret

Although in daylight I might be a fool

Who cowers inside of every rule

At nights in dreams I’ll have my fill

Because I have earned a license to kill

And I’ll hurt you like you hurt me

The way you ripped my soul in three

A piece for the girl’s now long gone

Another for the things that I did wrong

But the third piece burns like a festering sore

And, though I hate you, I need more

So in my dreams, I’ll make you pay

As I dream dreams of that oh-happy day

When you’ll finally regret what you made me

And I’ll finally burn you from my memory

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

A hundred million rows of men

Descend upon my mind again

Their arrows fly, blades held aloft

Yet the touch is strange, gentle and soft

I guess a knife’s a welcome change

From the anguish I feel, day after day

For dreams reflect our real-life woes

And my dreams prove the distance I’ve to go

To find forgiveness in my heart

For the things I’ve felt rip it apart

That’s why I see these nightmare men

Who represent the things I’ve said

Which haunt me in the worst of times

Ripping through memories in my mind

But how can I escape them, though?

If only I knew how to let things go