you kept me up last night
again
your nurse called for help
but i had no answers.
you looked frail in your bed, iv drips running in
both arms and a foot, the central line in your
neck pumping life-sustaining levophed and
vasopressin into your veins.
you froze when i entered the room, your eyes
accusatory. ashamed.
in one hand you held a syringe;
in the other, you clutched a saline flush
the nurse started speaking about white powders, but
i didn’t listen
the monitors held my attention
your heartrate was too fast
your blood pressure was too high
how are you feeling, alexa? i asked
you had chest pain, you said. but
you didn’t want me to come near, covering
the syringes with a blanket
hiding them
we were both scared, but for different reasons
cocaine isn’t allowed in the hospital
cocaine made your blood vessels spasm
your heart screamed for oxygen
but you wouldn’t let anyone near
what should we do? asked the nurse
oh alexa
what could we have done?
what had you done?
so many nights you keep me up
again and again
your chest pain resolved
(this time)
and the white powder in your room remains unfound
will you be this lucky next time?