matchmaker

you call me unique, tell me i have value,

tell me to summarise a lifetime of work into two pages

double-sided

check these boxes, condense everything into categories:

research

awards

committees

degrees

leadership

a lifetime condensed in two dimensions,

devoid of colour

a black-and-white page as i beg them to

like me

love me

hitting refresh on the inbox waiting for their acceptance

(part one)

my suit is picked out, the best my (small) salary can provide

is this too much makeup? not enough?

are my heels too high? not high enough?

everything is subjective, except one fact: i need to make them

like me

love me

everything i’ve worked for boils down to this game of chance

isn’t it ironic

the one thing i’ve worked hardest for turns out to be

the one thing i can’t control?

hitting refresh on the inbox waiting for their acceptance

(part two)

the clock ticks down to the designated time, sealing my fate

for two years

for five years

for forty years

this life is part chance and part luck

all i ask is that someone takes a chance on me

Brave

It never ceases to amaze me: the courage of Hobbits.

—

’twas dark far too early, a midwinter’s night,

when I roamed down the sidewalk, my coat wrapped tight,

The sun had departed, but the moon ran behind

And, without either light, I walked around blind

Perhaps that made me conscious of the sounds of the night

Every creak, every rustle that would normally cause fright

But tonight things were calmer — a dry breeze in the air

Was the only sound lingering. Other than that, nothing there.

Or at least so I thought, until the murmur of words

Broke through the air, leaving the silence disturbed

I concentrated harder to determine the source

Of this lackluster humanoid air-driven force

And just by the lamplight, in the dim yellow light,

I spotted pure courage, in the midst of a fight:

Two lads and a lady, in full suit attire

Were discussing their…interviews(?) and what had transpired

I stepped a bit closer, for I was curious to hear

What strange undertakings had burdened those here

Why they dawdled without fear underneath the pale lamp’s light

And why they wandered courageously through a midwinter’s night

They spoke of far-off places, where I’d never been

A thousand distant cities of which I’d only dreamed

And in this idle manner they made lists in the snow

Pointing to the places they still had to go

And the hours which they spoke of keeping seemed inhumane to me

Was there no place better for these wanderers to be?

Yet there they stood, immaculate, immune to snow and cold,

Discussing conversation politics with fervent voices, bold

Discussing with finesse the minutiae unknown

About training to be a doctor, that no layperson knows

It was not too long after that I saw them moving on

Picking up their burdens and trudging bravely on

Onto new adventures in cities far away

Hoping one would pick them — one day soon, one day

Hoping to be selected for the noblest task of all

To care for others in deepest need, they’d found, in life, their call

And so they wandered through the midst of winter cold and ice

From place to place they fled and flew, a blur of day and nights

And that was when I realised that I’d seen no strength like it before

A final-year med student in the midst of their CaRMS tour

Lead Turned to Gold

Like a thunderbolt they came, the feelings of old

Returning with a vengeance, lead turned to gold

Feelings I’d forgotten until they re-bloomed

They grew stronger and stronger, and I was consumed

And sometimes I think it’s too heavy to bear

Why am I doing this? It doesn’t seem fair

That I should sweat buckets over one little word

It’s irrational, illogical, altogether absurd!

But the heart knows no reason when the head’s in a tizzy

So I shelf my feelings, and try to keep busy

It’s a minor distraction, a temporary escape,

Disguising reality with a bit of duct tape

And though I might cry rivers when it’s over, for now,

I’ll stay calm and composed (or, at least, I’ll try to figure out how)